I Miss You Clayton Baby

R*I*P* BABY
I miss your sincere sweet smile that brightend my darkest days and helped me through the worst times of my life...
I miss your silly sense of humor and your cheerful laughter...
I miss your beautiful spirit, the truest and most pure gift from God...
You have been gone from me for 7 yrs now and I still cant believe it...
I want to see you, touch your face, and be in your arms...
Through the hardest times of my life I know you have been by my side holding my hand helping me stay strong when I only wanted to give up...When I close my eyes I seeing your handsome, smiling, loving face full of the Pure Love of Christ...
You are and always have been the most amazing influence in my life and because of you I want to be a better person...
Clayton so much has happened since you have been gone and I would give anything to have you here with me, however I know someday I will have the chance to see you again...
In that I must say God Be With You Till We Meet Again....
I love you and I cannnot wait to see you!!!
Clayton LeGrand Dyer
April 15 1986 - April 12, 2002

To The Sister I Once Knew...

I miss our late night talks.

Our slap happy laughter.

Our late trips to wal mart.

The tears we cried together.

I miss the sisters and best friends we used to be, but I got screwed over for a BOY!

I wish I never met him.I wish I still had you.

I cant talk to you anymore or trust you to wipe away my tears, because you became the very essence of which I cry.

I hope someday you wake up and realize I've done nothing but try to love and protect you from things you should never see, and I went down fighting for the girl I once knew you to be.

When he walks away and leaves you standing I'll be the one there to hold you tight and wipe your tears.

Never Ending!!!!

I cannot remember one time in my life that there has been peace amongst my family.

I have lived through being sexually abused, abused emotionally and mentally since I was a small child.

I have 6 siblings.. 5 sister, and 1 brother. I love them all very much but we are such a disfunctional family.

I cry day in and day out, wishing, wondering, hoping my life will have some kind of stability and peace someday.

I am so tired of being lied to and being made to feel like a am nothing but a waste of space.

I miss having my family together in some kind if order.

Nothing but pure chaose, betrayal, and decite goes on with those whom I thought cared the most or should care most.

My so called mother tears me down to nothing and my dad trys to help me pick up all the pieces.

However I just got yelled at by my father for something 2 of my stupid sisters did, and I had NO part of.

He tells me he is not going to take my "shit" anymore and help me cause he is sick of nobody appreciating him.

I guess he doesn't see how much I care and appreciate everything he does for me.

I dont know what to do right now I just feel like crying myself to sleep, and I know if I say anything to my dad things will get worse.

Someone freakin help me!!! I need out and I need to know someone cares...